Warnings: Teenagers doing wildly inappropriate things in inappropriate places
The Best Christmas Ever
A/N: Gift fic for karasu_hime, written for the Secret Santa Exchange on lupin_snape. Story and characterizations of Snape and Lupin inspired by Karasu's artwork in general, with scenes based on specific pieces.
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine, but I'll take the liberty of giving them away anyway ;)
"I thought maybe—OW! Zonko's, I guess." Peter cast a hurt look towards Sirius as he rubbed the rib that Sirius had just planted his elbow in.
"Zonko's it is!" James announced, winking at Remus. "By mutual consensus."
Remus changed a laugh into a cough as Peter continued to scowl at each of his three friends in turn. He really ought to know by now that the first place they visited in Hogsmeade was Zonko's, and when Sirius asked, that was just their cue to agree on it.
Sirius took a deep breath, his hands splayed across his chest, then let the breath out in a dramatic puff. "Ah. Smell that, mates?"
"What?" Peter asked, still looking miffed.
James and Sirius answered together. "Freedom."
Remus quit trying not to laugh. "You'd think Hogwarts was a prison, the way you two act."
"It is!" Sirius said, draping an arm over Remus' shoulder. "It's a prison to the creative mind fraught with the desire to fly free of constraint and convention."
"That was pretty good," Remus said.
"Wasn't it? I thought of it last night." Sirius gave Remus' shoulder an affectionate squeeze, then moved in front of James, walking backward with a taunting jeer on his face. "So, mate, what's with you and Evans? You two getting it on?"
"Getting what on?" Peter whispered to Remus, but Remus shushed him with a wave of his hand—he wanted to hear the answer.
"You know what Padfoot?" James asked.
"Until you learn how to keep a secret, there ain't a girl in the school who's going to be getting anything on with you. Except maybe her shoes."
"Oh, you're going to pay for that one," Sirius said, making a lunge for James. James sidestepped it, and Sirius stumbled behind them. When Sirius didn't return to his chosen position at the front of their little troop, Remus turned around to see what was keeping him. His heart did a back-flip as he saw Snape trailing a few feet behind a small gang of Slytherin seventh years, his hands in his pockets and eyes on the ground.
"Sirius, no," Remus said, reaching for his arm.
"James, did you hear what that little git said about Evans last week?"
James had come to a stop as well, his eyes on the approaching group. "Yeah," he said under his breath. There was a hardness to the set of his jaw that Remus wasn't accustomed to seeing. "I talked to Lily about it, though, and she said she'd take care of it."
"I say you take care of it for her," Sirius said, folding his arms. Peter mimicked his stance as the Slytherins drew nearer.
"I say we remember what McGonagall told us," Remus said. She'd called the four of them into her office that morning and told them in no uncertain terms that if she heard even a whisper that they hadn't comported themselves as proper young wizards, their Hogsmeade privileges would be permanently revoked. This was undoubtedly a result of the last Hogsmeade weekend of the previous year when the four of them had gotten into a scuffle with a trio of Slytherins, Snape included. If it hadn't been for the beefy son of the witch who ran the owl post, it would have probably escalated into a duel in the middle of the sidewalk, but he'd herded the lot of them back to the school, where McGonagall, Slughorn and Dumbledore had all been waiting with displeased expressions on their faces.
"So, what? We just let Slytherin slimeballs get away with saying anything they want about our girls now?" Sirius asked. The Slytherin group was even with them now, regarding them with wary eyes as they passed.
"Just let Lily hear you call her one of your girls," James said wit a snort. "She can take care of herself."
"So you're just going to let him get away with it?"
"Look, mate," James said, reaching for Sirius' arm, "I'm with Moony. I don't want my Hogsmeade privileges revoked. He didn't hurt her, and if he even looks at her wrong again, I'm going to McGonagall. There's no sense in us getting expelled because he's a hard-up little git."
The four of them fell into step behind the Slytherin gang, and the last half of the walk into Hogsmeade was much more silent than the first half had been. Remus found that he had plenty of time to stare at Snape, and the way his trousers hugged his hips when he walked. He wasn't just tall and lanky, like Remus was, he was tall and thin, and the thought of those narrow hips in his hands was enough to make Remus stumble. Luckily, the others didn't notice it.
When they reached the outskirts of Hogsmeade, the Slytherin gang started to bust up—several drifted in the direction of the Three Broomsticks, several others towards Honeydukes. Snape turned into Scrivenshaft's.
Remus made a hasty decision. "I've got to get some more ink," he said. "Why don't I catch up with you at Zonko's?"
"We can go to Scrivenshaft's with you," James said.
"Do you need to?"
"Well, no, but..."
"Then why bother?" Remus asked. "I'll just be a few minutes. Really. I have a couple of errands I need to run, actually. If I don't catch up with you in Zonko's, I'll see you in the Three Broomsticks, right?"
"You don't want to go to Zonko's?" Sirius asked, frowning.
Remus' mind whirred for an excuse. "I'm a Prefect, remember? I'm supposed to be setting a good example. Most of the stuff in Zonko's isn't really setting a good example. You lot have fun and I'll meet you in half an hour or so, all right?"
Sirius nodded grudgingly, and Remus veered towards the quill and parchment shop as his friends continued down the street. The bell above the door tinkled merrily, announcing his entrance.
"May I help you?" asked the bent old witch behind the counter.
Remus' eyes scanned the shop as he shook his head. "Just browsing, thanks," he said. He made a pretense of looking at eagle quills, then feigned interest in a stack of rice vellum. When the witch decided he didn’t appear to be up to no good and turned back to the ledger she'd been scribbling in, Remus set out to find what he was actually looking for. His eyes scanned the shadowy corners of the shop, and he almost missed the black-clad figure he was seeking. Waiting a moment, keeping one eye on Snape and one eye on the witch behind the counter, he began casually edging towards the display where Snape was absorbed in something that was surely fascinating.
When he drew closer, some connection between his cock and his throat made itself known for the first time in his life as he realized what the lone Slytherin was up to. Snape was making a pretense of studying an assortment of Invisible Ink, but his hands were in his pockets, his eyes closed, lips parted, breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. Remus' eyes drifted to Snape's pocketed hands, and his own mouth went dry.
With a final glance at the saleswitch, Remus moved swiftly, closing his mouth atop Snape's and shoving his tongue between Snape's lips as he grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him behind another shelf. Snape's eyes opened wide, and a momentary look of panic crossed his face as Remus pinned him against a shelf of leather notebooks.
"Good morning," Remus whispered as he drew his lips away from Snape's.
Snape lifted his chin regally and straightened his back. "What are you doing?" he asked in a whisper that was commanding, even though his eyes were still darting madly from side to side.
"Well," Remus whispered, brushing his lips against Snape's again, "I thought you looked like you were having entirely too much fun not to be sharing."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Remus was beginning to think of that as Snape's standard, packaged answer. He responded by wedging a hand between them, tracing the contour of Snape's erection through his trousers. "Is this for me?" he asked, smiling as Snape's eyes closed, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks. "Were you thinking about me?" Remus whispered, rubbing his fingers along the hard shaft trapped in Snape's trousers. "Wishing I were the one touching you... wishing my mouth was on yours...?"
"Yes..." Snape whispered, then opened his eyes suddenly, as though he hadn't meant to say that aloud.
For a moment, Remus' hand paused in its pursuits as he licked his lips. He hadn't expected Snape to admit it either. He knew that he had spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about the string-haired Slytherin since they'd spent a few minutes snogging in the dungeons, but that entire scene had been a carefully orchestrated one on his own part—an attempt to make Snape stop staring holes into the back of his head. It was beginning to make him self-conscious to turn around and see those black eyes gazing so steadily at him. He'd never dreamed that Snape was actually thinking such lascivious thoughts about him.
At first, he thought he might be offended, but he changed his mind. After all, he was thinking the same kinds of thoughts about Snape, which was why he'd followed him here to begin with. Remus reached for Snape's hand, a delicately-boned appendage with long, slender fingers, and guided it to his own aching, straining cock. "Do you have any idea how hot that is?" he breathed against Snape's face.
Snape hesitated, then rubbed Remus' cock with halting strokes. Remus reached his other hand between them and unbuttoned Snape's trousers, pushing down the front of his trousers and his underpants and wrapping his hand around the shaft. Snape's eyes fluttered closed again as Remus eased the foreskin back and formed a circle with his thumb and forefinger. A soft groan sifted up from Snape's lips as Remus pumped his hand slowly and lightly up and down the shaft of Snape's cock.
"Shh," Remus whispered. "She'll hear."
Snape opened his eyes again, and Remus had the impression he was looking straight into his soul. "Bastard," Snape said in a strangled whispered. The flush on his cheeks and the way he arched his head sapped the word of any effect it might have had.
Remus stopped, and Snape's face contorted into a pained expression that Remus reveled in for only a moment. He spit into his hand, then wrapped his fingers around Snape's cock again, covering Snape's mouth with his own as he began to pump vigorously. Snape groaned, but his groan disappeared into Remus' mouth.
After a moment, Snape seemed to regain a modicum of his composure, and Remus was biting his own lip as Snape fumbled with his trousers and freed his cock as well. Remus leaned his head into Snape's shoulder as he felt those long, slender fingers wrap around his cock, one fingertip spreading a drop of pre-cum over the head. Their mouths met again, tongues thrusting hungrily against each other as their hands stroked each other's cocks in a ferocious, carnal rhythm. Snape cried out with a tiny, strangled gasp as he came, covering Remus' hand with a familiarly sticky, hot liquid that seemed far more enticing coming from Snape's cock than it did coming from his own. His hips jerked, and he came over Snape's hand, leaning his head against Snape's shoulder as they stood, panting.
After a moment, Remus straightened and looked down at the puddle they'd left on the floor between them. He eased his wand out of his pocket and flicked it at the mess. "Evanesco," he whispered as Snape murmured, "Scourgify."
A moment later, they'd both tucked their wilting cocks back into their trousers and their wands back into their pockets, nothing but a faint flush on their faces to indicate that anything had happened.
"I'll see you in class," Remus whispered, brushing another casual kiss against Snape's lips.
Snape touched his mouth, tracing his finger over his lips as he nodded.
Remus grabbed a bottle of ink as he walked back to the front of the shop and dropped it on the counter.
"That be all for you?" the saleswitch asked.
"I think so," Remus replied. He paid for the ink and left, dropping a letter home off at the post office as he made his way down the street. Sirius, James and Peter were still in Zonko's, and when Remus came to a halt at their side, his hands shoved into his pockets, they looked up at him.
"I thought you said half an hour?" Sirius asked. "It's only been ten minutes."
"Didn't take as long as I thought it might."