dazzleberry

I heard on the radio a promotion for a new compilation entitled 'The All-American Collection' with hits by artists like Elton John, Sting, and Paul McCartney.

That actually got me through the whole day Friday, because I started giggling again every time I thought about it.

/random

I just assembled my brand new computer desk. It's tiny. It's amazing the things that surprise me.

After all, I read the dimensions on the box. I bought the damn thing because it *is* small. I even got out my tape measure so I could see for myself just how wide 17 1/2 inches is. Hell, I carried the damn thing upstairs by myself. Now that it's assembled, I'm just flabbergasted at how small it is.

This is like the time that I bought that 'intense-i-color' quad by Almay. That eye shadow was blue on the peg in the store. It was blue when I paid for it. It was blue when I got in my car. It was blue when I put it in my bathroom. It was blue when I opened it and damned if it wasn't blue when I put it on my eyelids. And my reaction? 'Oh my god! It's *blue*!'

/self deprecating humor

Anyone want a cat? I'll ship her anywhere in the world. She's driving me batshit insane. The little shitmonster has figured out how to unplug things, and I'm telling you, it's not cute anymore.

It is, however, a lovely day. I woke up shivering (had the windows open) and gosh golly gee, I just love autumn. The only fly in my ointment is that if it's autumn, it's nearly holiday time. Second day of fall and I'm dreading Christmas. What's wrong with this picture?

It was bad last year and it's showing every indication of shaping up to be just as rotten this year. Get this: the wank has already started in the office (current Christmas wank: whether or not to celebrate the damn season this year. Management had enough wank last year to last a lifetime, too.)

So far, we've been asked if we want a Christmas party, who wants to volunteer to organize it. Then the director told us to email him our thoughts on the matter and one of the supervisors (mine! imagine that.) got pissed off at the entire department for not volunteering to settle it last Wednesday at the meeting.

Fucking shit. It's SEPTEMBER for God's sake! I nearly retched when I saw Wally World's Christmas decorations out already. I can handle it in the craft stores, but at Wal Mart?

Am I the only one who'd prefer to pretend December doesn't exist and to calmly play like an ostrich until I absolutely-positively-have-to-acknowledge-it-because-oh-my-God-it's-December-now?

But no. We have to get a three-month head start on the pettiness just so we don't miss one single opportunity.

To top that off, I found out Thanksgiving is going to be at my mom's house this year. For the first time in five(?) years. Yay! And she's already got the menu planned. *grumble.*

She couldn't even let me delude myself into thinking that I might have some minor say in the meal I'm going to have to fucking cook.

Oh, and by the way, we've already got two confirmed family members planning to be there, and two more that we expect.

Jen's prediction for the number at Thanksgiving table: 15-20. Mark my words. If there are eight confirmed at this point in September, that number will triple before the holiday gets here and a fourth won't be able to make it.

Because Granny's 90th birthday is also at Thanksgiving.

Jen's prediction of who will cook this horrible meal, to spec, and will barely be able to palate the results: Jen. But only if everyone else gets the hell out of the kitchen. Otherwise, Jen will be in her apartment, pretending it's just another day.

(That's an impotent threat. I'll be there in my mother's little kitchen, trying not to run into the ten people who will be milling about not doing anything.)

...

I wonder what my aunt on my dad's side of the family is doing for Thanksgiving. I miss holidays with them, and I think it's been five years since I've spent one with them. I wonder what my mother would do if I didn't have Thanksgiving dinner with her. I don't think I'm seriously considering it, but I wonder what would happen. If I didn't have to work with her, I might be more inclined to put it to the test.

I'm trying not to think about that right now, though. I'm trying to think about a more immediate concern: an autumn harvest celebration menu. Found a recipe for pheasant that looks promising, but since I don't know where to buy a pheasant, I'll probably adapt it for chicken instead. Or not.

I just don't know. My plans aren't working very well this year.